Hello my Dark Darlings,
Here is my latest 'sharing' post choc full of links to posts I've really enjoyed this week, and I urge you to read not only the posts which I have suggested, but browse the blogs themselves to see what other stuff these talented bloggers create. Many of our cohorts write awesome poetry, others compose beautiful pictures and some create art with paints or or pen. I am currently hoping to see myself as a sketch or image from the easel of @E.T.Costello - or Quill as he calls himself on his blog.
Now (drum roll) to introduce you to my Interviewee - Quinn Rhodes of On Queer Street
- What made you decide to write a sex blog?
I’ll probably have a different answer to this whenever someone asks me... because I’m never quite sure what pushed me from ‘hmm, that would be cool to do’ to ‘I am doing this!’ For the preceding months, I’d been reading sex blogs, writing erotica and jerking off as a coping mechanism: masturbation was a distraction from the horrible mess inside my head, and I was increasingly classifying it as a method of self-care. Starting my own sex blog was something I’d been thinking about for a while, til one night in October I was reading articles by other bloggers on how to start a sex blog.
It wasn’t a good night - mental health wise - and I’d hit a big depression bump and wanted something, anything, to distract me, to make me feel a tiny bit better. Wrapped in blankets, sitting at my desk, trying not to cry, I found part of my mind saying you could do this too. It was a 2am decision, but later that day I introduced myself to the world as Tits and Test Tubes. At its heart, I think a little bit of my blog is purely for me - a way to help manage my mental health. Speaking more generally, though, sex fascinates me, I love sharing filthy words that turn people on, and writing helps me explore the kinks I might be into.
I never thought I’d be fulfilling my childhood dream of being a writer by writing about sex!
Posy says "Snap Quinn - I often pinch myself about the same set of facts!"
- What’s behind the title of your blog or your blogging “name”?
Tits and Test Tubes was a name suggested by my friend for a ‘promoting women in STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths)’ twitter account I was setting up, but I felt the organisation I was working with wouldn’t quite endorse that. However, it was a perfect title for my sex blog, as it features boobs - a part of my body I’ve learned to love - and science - a nod to the university degree I am pursuing.
My pen name, Jadis Liddell, is a reference to two fictional characters. It’s also me reclaiming a nickname I hated at primary school, and every time I introduce myself I smile because I’ve reached a point where I love being Jadis. When I first came up with the name, I actually had no idea that I would end up being known in the sex-blogging community as Jadis. I think if I had known, I’d have thought more carefully about what I wanted to be known as… but I have a feeling I’d have ended up with the same name.
- Describe your blog in a nutshell:
A lot of my blog is filthy stories, but this is interspersed with feminist rants, posts where I talk about how my mental health intersects with my sex life and - as of about two weeks ago - sex toy reviews!
It’s an insight to my mind and my journey as I explore my body and my kinks, but now I’m also being brave enough to say that it’s my mission to encourage more open conversations about sex, sexuality and enthusiastic consent.
- How long have you been blogging on this theme?
I’ve been blogging for 176 days - that’s less than six months! I know a few people were surprised to see me, as such a new sex blogger at Eroticon in March, but I am well known for diving into things head first! It was an incredibly inspiring experience, and I came home with so many ideas for things I wanted to write, create and do with my blog. There are so many amazing bloggers that I want to be like when I “grow up” and I have so many things I’d like to do with my blog… so yes, I think I’ll be writing for a while yet.
- What is your favourite type of adult toy?
Without hesitation, it has to be clitoral vibrators. As someone who takes SSRIs, and struggles to orgasm because of this, and has vaginismus, meaning any kind of penetration is incredibly painful, powerful rumbly vibrations are my favourite thing! So clitoral vibrators (do wands come under that heading too?) are the only thing I can get myself off with, and thus my favourite.
- If you were sent to a desert island (with no power issues) name the 1 adult toy you’d take with you:
I’d take my Doxy, without question. Unless I can twist the question slightly and have my phone with me, filled with people who will send me filthy words to spark my imagination. Though I suppose if I did, I’d want my Doxy to give me wonderful orgasms once the words had turned me on… so yes, my Doxy!
- What’s your current sexuality? At what age did you realise this was the right ‘fit’ for you?
I’m queer! I was actually discussing this with a friend this week, though, because it’s not quite that simple. On my blog and twitter you’ll find me calling myself queer, bisexual, and gay - and I do identify with all of these. In fact, when I started blogging, I described myself as bisexual. However, at this moment in time, I feel most comfortable - and indeed happiest - using the term queer. It’s a good catch-all term for “something that isn’t cishet” and it gives me room for my attractions to wax and wane, as well as allowing me to have any gender feels that may arise. It is also a reclaimed word, and one I love because of that, and I think it has a more political-and/of-activist-y feel to it.
So, I’m queer. I have crushes on cute guys, cute girls, and cute non-binary humans. (I talk - and think - about kissing cute humans a lot; kissing cute humans is fun.)
- What’s your preference - naked or “dressed up” for sex? If dressed up, how so?
Hmmm, naked I think? I like lots of body contact, and nakedness is fun. I often leave my socks on though - both because wearing knee-high socks makes me feel cute and subby, and because my flat can be quite chilly and I’m not a fan of cold toes. I do, however, love dressing up beforehand, in pretty lingerie, stockings, short skirts… basically anything pretty to entice whoever I’m playing with to rip it all off me.
Posy says: "Quinn does have an eye for the prettiest underwear!"
- Is there a kink or fantasy you’re yearning to try?
Oh, there are so, so many.
Right now, though, I’m very into denial, and I’m pretty sure it’s a kink I’ll get to explore before the end of the month. A mean, cute human (or more than one...) telling me that I can’t touch myself or come for a period of time so I’m desperate and dripping when I see them? Yeah, that definitely appeals.
- Name the fictional being or species you’d most like to have an encounter with:
I have to admit that the first thing which sprung to mind on reading this question was the Giant Squid, who lives in the Black Lake at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was assuming that ‘have an encounter with’ meant ‘have sex with’, because I was on my period and very much in the mood for slippery, squirmy, wet, wiggly, tentacle sex. If this isn’t what you meant, I apologise…
Posy says "That's exactly the kind of encounter I meant, although I hadn't know about the Giant Squid in the lake near Hogwarts!"
- Anal sex - Meh or Yay?
Yay! Or, at least, I tried a butt plug for the first time in January and found it a strange sensation but a wonderful psychological feeling, so it’s something I’m working on getting used to. The idea of a girl fucking my butt with a strap-on is super hot. When we were sleeping together, I fucked my ex-fuck-buddy’s arse with my strap-on several times: it was a totally new experience for both of us, and after a bit of practice and a LOT of lube, it became pretty much our favourite thing to do together.
- Sex needn’t always be serious - do you have a funny moment to share?
Out of all the questions, this is the one I have found the hardest to answer. I’m sure there have been hilarious moments in the sex I’ve had, but the only one which comes to mind is the first time I put in a butt plug - at the request of my Domly fuck-buddy, in the bathroom of the restaurant where we were having dinner and he was doing unspeakable things to me under the table. I’d just sat down, the plug feeling strange inside me - smiling at him cutely and subbily, hoping to hear good girl - when there was a slippery feeling and an almost squeaky noise, and the plug was no longer inside me. He laughed at the horrified look on my face, and soon I was laughing with him.
Laughter and sex is the best combination. Oh, and if you think you’re rubbing my clit and I’m not giggling, you probably haven’t found it.
Posy says "Yep Quinn, nothing wrong with your sexual sense of humour!"
- Sexting - love it or hate it?
Love it, love it, love it! I’ve never lived in the same city as someone I’m into, and a lot of the sex I have is planned in advance and is preceded by flirting and sexting. Words are incredibly important to me. I’m often most attracted to people who challenge me intellectually as well as turn me on with their words: as in sending a text that makes me slick my knickers but also includes a word for which I have to look up the definition.
Sexting is a big part of my sex life. I especially love sending filthy messages to people in an attempt to turn them on in inappropriate places. It’s a wonderful way to get a sense of what the other person is into, and just so much fun!
Which mainstream film depicts your favourite erotic scene?
I’m cheating on this one slightly, because it’s not an erotic scene but is a scene, and a film, that’s deeply fundamental to the development of my sexualtiy. The film is Pride (2014), which is amazing in so many ways, but my favourite scene is near the end, where Steph and Joe - a lesbian and her gay male best friend - are sharing a bed. The deep platonic friendship between them as they hold hands, and the line “If we were normal, this is when we’d kiss” makes me cry almost every time I watch it.
- Do you watch porn?
I have watched porn, but now I know myself and my desires better I rarely watch anymore. Audio porn works so much better for me than visual - words, not images, are the most powerful tool to arouse me.
Paying for your porn is important, so I support a fabulous creator of audio erotica (*waves at Girl on the Net*), and will occasionally buy videos and clips from those who sell them. My filthy mind usually provides more than enough to fuel my fantasies, though.
Posy says "I'm wondering if you've listened to Southern Sir reading various bloggers erotic stories? Magma hot with his transatlantic accent!"
- Nominate your favourite adult film:
I’m not even sure I’ve watched something that could be classed as such… any recommendations?
Posy says "Well, you know I'm always banging on about the great films on Frolicme.com!"
- Before you go, please tell us 1 adult blog (aside from yours) which we must add to our reading list:
I’m a very new sex blogger, and so I’m pretty sure that you’ll already be following the work of anyone I could suggest here! I do always check out Karin (@SwingShiftKarin) ‘s new posts though - she blogs at The Swing Shift and I love her writing.
Thank you so much for sharing your more ‘private’ side with me and my Dark Darlings!